Tired.

I had a rough day. I've had rough days before, and I've written about a few of them here, but today was, by far, the most draining and painful day since I started working at the animal shelter. Before I go into detail, I've been trying to figure out why today, of all days, has been so awful. We've had hoarding cases where animals were so neglected and sick that they had to be euthanized. We've had litters of kittens die, from illness, deformity, inbreeding, neglect. We've had dogs come in as skeletons, with their skin open and raw with infection.

Today, none of that happened. Today, people happened. Not the worst people in the world. Some of them actually seemed quite nice. Nice people who were just bad pet parents. Bad pet parents who had already made the awful decision to surrender their pet, and nothing I said was going to change their mind. They had already decided that their fixable problem was unfixable, even though I had many possible solutions.

Today was death by a thousand cuts. Not just today, but yesterday, and the days, weeks and months before that. I finally reached that point where I couldn't talk to anyone, I couldn't look at anyone. I felt like my head was going to explode. I had to get away. And when I had to "help" one more "customer", I couldn't hide my exhaustion. I couldn't hide the fact that I was at a breaking point, that my head was spinning. I could hear myself taking deep breaths to try and contain the madness, but it just wasn't working.

Every day is filled with a range of interactions, from pleasant ones with pleasant people, to extremely unpleasant ones with awful people. In between, you get some people who are just plain simple, and don't know what they're doing, and you get the people whose lives are falling apart and this is just one more blow. I'm used to dealing with people, idiots and douchebags alike. But I guess today I just reached my saturation point.

I honestly don't even remember my first awful interaction of the day. I had two cats surrendered for not using the litterbox. I remember the second one. Long story short, the owner refused to accept that stress or a medical condition may have caused the cat to not use the litterbox on occasion. The cat had been having accidents for about 6 months. That's about the time when they moved from Ohio. The younger of the two children was starting to walk. She had not been taken to the vet to see if she has a UTI. She had not been confined to a small space to get more comfortable and to work on her litterbox habits. She was surrendered to the shelter, after the owner doing absolutely nothing to fix the problem, while saying that he had done everything.

One cat is awaiting vet exam, one cat is on the adoption floor.

The coup de grâce was a dog. I've gotten more sensitive about older dogs as Honey has gotten older. She seems the same to me now as she was three years ago, when we first got her, but if I look real hard, I can see her muzzle getting grey. I understand that she is technically a senior now, even though she is relatively young for a senior. Older pets are always difficult, but it hits a little closer to home, the older she gets.

Anyway. Guy brings in a dog he got in 2010. He has his original paperwork, plus some vet records ranging from 2011-2013. He had the surrender form filled out, and under reason for surrender, he said "pees in the house." I say, "So, he pees in the house?" He said, "Yes, but that's not all." Please sir, enlighten me.

This dog has not been to a vet in three years. He has been drinking a lot of water and needs to pee frequently. When he's not allowed to go outside, he'll pee in the house. It's not that he's not housetrained. It's that he has to pee too frequently, his family won't let him outside when he tells them he has to go, so he pees inside. He even has the nerve to need to pee in the middle of the night. Who wants to get up in the middle of the night? I'm not even kidding, he said that to me. This asshole, standing in front of me, doesn't think to take his dog to the vet for drinking an insane amount of water and needing to pee as a result, actually tries to get me to relate to him. If my dog tells me she has to pee in the middle of the night, whose fault is it if she pees on my bed? It's my fault. I'm the human adult. You can bet your ass that if the owner was drinking that much water and having to pee more than 2-3 times a day (that's the acceptable number of times to use the bathroom, he informed me), he'd be at the doctor, trying to figure out why.

As a result of his constant urination, his yard is ruined. They simply can't do anythingwith their yard as long as the dog is there.

When he goes outside, into the yard, he sometimes tracks dirt ALL OVER THE HOUSE. I mean, can you believe it? He goes outside, and he runs around, and when he comes back in, his feet are dirty! THIS IS MADNESS!!! This dog has feet that touch the ground, and they get dirty, and the dirt comes into the house using his feet! I just don't understand why the dog doesn't take his shoes off at the front door, like a civilized person, or at the very least wipe his feet on the mat before he comes in.

And, in the summer, he sheds. Sometimes for months at a time. His fur just comes off! The weather gets warm, and his fur starts coming off, all over the house. It's crazy. (Yes, he said that. That it's crazy that the dog's fur comes off, every year, without fail.)

Now, I know what you're thinking. This guy is obviously a moron and has no idea what a dog is. He assured me that he had owned many dogs over the years (this is an older-middle-aged white guy), and this dog was just out of control. Oh, oh! Don't let me forget. He would occasionally bark at a truck going by the house. Not often, not at cars, not at every truck, but every now and then he would bark at a truck. This f*ing dog.

The longer he talked, the less I could control my face. My eyebrows went up, my jaw went down. I had to make a conscious effort to not look too shocked. To help the guy out next time, should he decide to adopt again, I made a note on his file, asking future staff members to help him find a dog that pees a reasonable amount, does not shed, does not track dirt into the house, does not bark, and whose urine does not kill grass.

UPDATE (4/4): Riley was found to have a horrible UTI. How long he suffered with that, I don't know. He's being treated now, but needs a rescue to continue his recovery. He also has arthritis, needs a dental cleaning and has a possible heart murmur.

Update (4/6): Riley went to rescue today! I also spoke with the vet, who said that Riley had a history of needing urinalyses (though the last visit was three years ago), which does not guarantee that the owner knew he was prone to UTIs, but it makes it extremely likely. Couldn't be more thrilled that this guy made it out.

After that, a woman surrendered a 13 year old pekingese because she had become incontinent. That meant she was spending more time in the crate, and she was miserable in the crate. She had arthritis, "skin sensitivity" and severe dental disease. Funny thing is, someone will take that dog. She's sweet, and she's cute, and she's a small breed. The other dog, half her age, will have a helluva time finding rescue, based on size alone. Given his back story, he may have better luck with sympathy points.

 UPDATE (4/4): The pekingese went to rescue today.

What gets me is not the audacity of each situation. It's that these things are not uncommon. These small injustices happen every day. Like Buster, like Jean-Pierre. They aren't abused, exactly. They're just... they're not given the love and consideration that they deserve. So many people refuse to take their pets to the vet. Refuse to bring them inside. Refuse to accept that mutilation can lead to behavioral issues. Refuse to see that animals feel stress, too, but they can't express it like we can. And these are the same people that claim to care about their pet. That they did everything they could. They are so delusional that they cannot see that they have done nothing. Living with a problem for months does not make you a good person. It makes you complacent. And giving up without even trying to fix the problem makes you worse. It makes you ignorant. It makes you lazy. It makes you bad. Ignorance is a choice, laziness is a choice. 99% of the time, surrendering your pet to the shelter is a choice.

I'm tired of bad.

And now, after more than an hour of writing and raving, I'm just tired. Goodnight.