Work stories

Back by popular demand. These are just from today, but there's always something nuts going on.

1.

Guy with a leaf blower outside, blowing leafs. Leaf blower goes silent, man angrily bursts through door.

"I just stepped in a huge pile of dog shit!"

Guy gets a plastic bag to wrap his boot. Decides to not use bag. Is given option to use hose out back.

Surly guy emerges from bathroom. When asked if he feels better, he grumbles, "Not really."

Find out later that guy left crap in the sink in the bathroom. A true gentleman. If only he'd had some clue that there may be poop outside, he may not have gotten so cranky.

2.

Young lady drags or is dragged in by big black dog. Dog happily greets me by grinning over the counter.

"I have to surrender my dog. He just killed another one of my cats and my landlord said I have to get rid of him."

I explain that we cannot rehome animals known to have killed other animals; though we have some cat-unfriendly dogs, none of them have, to our knowledge, killed any cats. I suggest rehoming independently, since we cannot.

"Well, I guess I don't have a choice."

Like we're forcing her to give us her dog. Right.

We go through the whole process, and the final question is:

"Do you want his body back for burial?"

"Wait, you mean you won't even give him a chance? He's going to be euthanized automatically?"

"We cannot rehome dogs who have killed other animals." For the fifth time.

*grooooan*

*glare* 

Thanks.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my supreme hatred for all living things caused you to allow your dog to not kill one, but multiple pet cats. I'm sorry that I have caused you to bring this dog in. Thank you so much for giving us your dog. We were all just sitting around, wishing there was some delightful, handsome, goofy dog that we could suck the life out of. Perfect.

You made my day.

3.

Guy calls, saying he wants to get his cat back. His ex-girlfriend surrendered their cats about seven weeks ago and didn't tell him until yesterday. He says one cat was adopted but he wants the other cat back. Since he didn't bring the cat in and everything was in his ex's name, I told him he could come in and adopt the cat.

Guy comes in, saying he wants his cat back, but he can't find her. Over the course of about half an hour, the building is scoured by numerous volunteers and staff. The cat is nowhere to be found. The guy starts freaking out, saying, "You put her down. You can tell me. You guys already put her down." I try to calm him down, saying that we're still looking for and that there would be a record if she had been euthanized.

"Well, obviously not."

He doesn't realize that his other cat wasn't adopted: she was euthanized because she was so traumatized that she couldn't adjust to being on the adoption floor. The whole time he's there he doesn't ask about her, he just tells me repeatedly that she had been adopted. I don't know who told him that, but okay.

Eventually we realize that one cat was euthanized and one was transferred to rescue, but in the paperwork, both were attached to one cat, the one that was put down. So, the other cat was showing as available and in the building, but had actually been transferred to a rescue.

I explain this to the guy (tactfully leaving out the whole "one of your cats really was euthanized" thing), and tell him two things we can do. I can ask the rescue coordinator to contact the rescue and see if they still have the cat. If they do, they can get back to him about reclaiming her. And/or, he can submit a public records request to find out where the cats went. He wants both cats back, even though I tell him that the cat is no longer legally his.

"But... they're my cats."

*facedesk*

He pushes the point that I could just tell him, acting all sneaky like, even though he has been ranting a raving and drawing the attention of everyone in the lobby. He then proceeds to have a full conversation with himself:

"Would you really lose your job for telling me where my own cat went? 'Oh, you helped a guy get his cat back. You're fired!' That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I mean, really?"

And on and on.

He answers a phone call and finally gets so loud that he attracts the security guard's attention. He then wanders outside. While he's outside, we find out that the cat that went to rescue had already been adopted. Woohoo!

He never comes back in, and I am given permission from my supervisor to not call him back. Small blessings.

.....

And these aren't even the stories involving concealed weapons, kitten enemas or feral spaceships!