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This is the conversation I just had with my 5 month old foster kitten:
"Ohhhhhhh my Tina-bean, I love you. Love love love. You're the sweetest little ba- OH GOD STOP ATTACKING MY HEAD! DON'T ATTACK MY HEAD!
*GAG*
*SPIT SPIT SPIT*
SHE PUT HER FOOT IN MY MOUTH!
*GARGLE SPIT GARGLE SPIT*
SHE PUT HER F*ING FOOT IN MY MOUTH!
*SPIT SPIT SPIT*
IT WAS SALTY!!!
*SPIT*
:( "
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Someone called the shelter asking for a red rocket-ectomy.
Not kidding. He had adopted a dog (thanks for adopting!), and the dog was neutered. But he was concerned because the dog was still getting "excited." When told that we do not remove the penis during neuter, he said, "Who will?"
No one, dude. That's SO weird.
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"He's an outside dog" is not the answer to any question, including the following:
- "Why are you not providing medical care for your dog?"
- "Why does your dog smell like infection?"
- "Why has your dog not been to the vet?"
- "Why does your dog have fleas?"
Oh, wait, here's one:
"Why are you a terrible person?"
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Lady came in because she saw her lost dog in our online photo gallery. She provided the ID number. The dog was aged at 2 years and appeared to have been severely over-bred and underweight.
The lady said her dog was stolen 15 years ago.
Uh-
Despite my gentle prodding that this may not be her dog, and her telling me that, well, her dog is small for her breed, so it makes sense that she would be aged younger (...nope), I sent her back to look at the dog and positively ID it.
Not her dog. Byeeee.
Just kidding, she placed a deposit on another dog. Everyone wins!
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Lady comes into the lobby with a cat carrier. I immediately recognize her as someone who I blocked years ago on Facebook, not because we were friends or acquaintances, but because our online social circle overlapped and I couldn't take her insane postings anymore. She
*I was corrected today and informed that she owns or owned hairless cats but was/is in fact a hairless dog breeder. I find both of them a bit creepy, but to each his own. For the next paragraph, please substitute "weird, non-working-breed dog" for "cat."*
Let me say that again, in case you missed it:
A cat breeder. A person who... breeds... cats. I can't.... I can't even get my head around that. Like, it hurts me to think about it. With all the cats that we have at the shelter, why... WHY.... would you breed cats? That's even worse than breeding pit bulls. And I love both cats and pit bulls (my only two permanent pets are a cat and a pit bull), but my God, we don't need anymore until we can find homes for all the ones we do have!
And don't tell me that its hairless or red-nose. That's the dumbest crap I've ever heard.
Anyway. This is the person surrendering two kittens. I don't think she knows that I know who she is. She used to be a foster for the county, but I believe she stopped fostering because she was getting so much shit from everyone because she was a breeder. Could've been something else, though... anyway. This is her first visit, on paper, since 2013.
Forgive me if I get the details wrong, but what I remember is: She tells me that she's had the kittens for a few weeks, and they were 6 weeks in mid-December, making them 10-12 weeks old at present. They haven't been named. I ask her what color they are, and her answer is so weird that I go look for myself.
One's tabby and white and one's torbie and white. And they're huge. I mean, even for 3 months, they're big kids. My exclamations when I see them reflect that, and I say, "Wow, they're huge! They look like they're six months old!"
She is super offended by my comment, saying, "Well, I was there when they were born, and I know they aren't six months old."
Ma'am. I don't care. You could tell me that you had brought me two-headed purple lizard, and I would just say, "Uh huh. Looks like two kittens to me! But okay!" I have nothing to gain from proving you wrong. In what world does it even matter how gigantic these kittens are? I'm not telling you they're fat, or you've done something wrong, or made any kind of judgment call. Just, yeah, those are some big kittens. In fact, if you're right, kudos! A lot of people struggle to get their kittens as, uh, healthy as yours. Good for you!
Our intake team aged them at 4 months. They're 4.5 and 4.75 lbs. For 4 months, they're big. We have another kitten, also about 4 months, who is only 3.75 lbs.
*Forgot to add: The kittens- I mean the huge kittens- are so poorly socialized that they are not available for adoption. They are waiting for a foster home or rescue to give them the care they need. Great job!*
Here's a rough recap of her shining review of my customer service, put up on Facebook shortly after (I really hope I can get a screenshot for my scrapbook):
"Had to surrender two kittens today. The lady at the front desk made a face and said they were huge and looked like they were 6 months, even though they were only 3 months. If you hate your job so much, maybe you shouldn't work there."
*And here is the actual screenshot. I've never been called "cocky" before. Is that a compliment? Also, I love the jump she makes between a weight remark and finding my whole job "annoying." Uh huh.*
Wow. Just wow. I mean, to accuse ME of making faces. I would never.
Also:
